Couples Therapy

Do You And Your Partner Feel Emotionally Disconnected From Each Other?

Have you started feeling distant from each other, but you don’t know why? Are you not on the same page in terms of life goals, intimacy, or parenting? Do you feel like you’re no longer working as a team?

Maybe you just keep having the same arguments over and over and nothing ever gets resolved. Or perhaps your relationship is suffering from roommate syndrome—somewhere along the way, the emotional connection fizzled. Now it seems like you’re just going through the motions together. As badly as you want to rekindle your spark, you might not know where to start.

Overcoming Conflict Means Giving Up Your Need To Be Right

Deep down, part of you probably just wishes your partner would change their behavior. If they could just admit that they were wrong, you might tell yourself, everything would be so much better. But for your relationship to heal, the growth cannot be one-sided. You and your partner both have to set aside your need to be right and focus on trying to understand each other.

Couples therapy is a chance to do just that. I want to help you and your significant other learn to compromise on your differences and work together as teammates again. When you do this, it becomes much easier to recapture the spark that made you fall for each other in the beginning.

Relationships Change Because People Change

Every relationship goes through rough patches. People grow and evolve over time, which means relationships have no choice but to grow and evolve, too. Unfortunately, many couples aren’t prepared to change. They don’t have conversations about the future because they don’t anticipate being different people ten years from now.

This is why so many couples part ways when illness, grief, children, and financial issues enter the picture. They didn’t talk through how they’d respond to these major life changes. Nor did they consider how their values and interests might shift over time. That’s why it’s vital to be proactive and work through the tough conversations early on in a relationship.

Trying To Solve Relationship Problems Alone Is Easier Said Than Done

A lot of couples feel like they can work through their challenges alone. Or they think they can get the help they need by turning to friends, family, or Tik Tok therapy. Unfortunately, friends and family members are often biased and have a personal stake in their relationship. And a lot of the advice floating around on social media is not that great—it might help one couple, but it usually doesn’t work for everyone.

As a marriage and couples therapist, I am unbiased in my approach and aim to give you and your partner skills that are uniquely tailored to your situation.

Therapy Can Help Couples Communicate With Each Other Instead Of Against Each Other

Relationships need a tune up every once in a while. Think of therapy as that tune up—a chance to have a mediator step into your lives and help both of you see your relationship with fresh eyes.

I provide therapy for couples of any sexual orientation and any relationship status—you can be married, unmarried, engaged, etc. My sessions offer a safe space and a designated time each week to process your stuck points and have tough conversations. I’ll teach you to communicate with each other rather than against each other, allowing you to work through those conversations peacefully. I’m here to cushion difficult subjects and help you navigate them in a way that brings you closer together.

What To Expect In Couples Counseling Sessions

In the beginning, there will be a 90-minute intake session where you and your partner can go over the main issues in your relationship and discuss your family history. From there, sessions will be 50 minutes and focus on improving your communication and deepening your emotional connection.

A lot of the work I do is attachment-based. I like to look at how you and your partner’s attachment styles differ and how your ways of communicating are informed by your early relationships with parents and caregivers. I am a PACT trained therapist that focuses on the psychobiological approach to couples therapy. This form of therapy specializes in quickly attending to the issues you and your partner are experiencing and helping you react, respond, and repair in a sensitive and compassionate way.

Having different attachment styles is both a blessing and a curse. It means that your personalities complement each other, but it can also make you clash heads. For instance, maybe one of you likes to talk about conflict right after it happens and the other doesn’t. Recognizing these differences can help you understand each other on a deeper level and be more respectful of each other’s feelings.

Creating A Therapy Plan That Works For You

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to therapy, since every couple is different. That said, I often draw from an approach called Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). The goal of EFT is to help you and your spouse communicate your emotions instead of pointing fingers or resorting to putdowns. You’ll learn to use “I feel” statements so that the focus is on you rather than your partner when conflict arises.

Additionally, I often utilize Interpersonal Process Therapy (IPT). At its core, IPT views each member of a relationship as part of a system. Understanding how that system works can help you overcome the social deficits (such as a tendency to isolate or avoid conflict) that prevent it from operating.

No matter what stage your relationship is in right now, I am confident that I can help you work through your rough patches, deepen your intimacy, and fall back in love.

You May Have Some Questions About Marriage And Couples Counseling…

Does couples therapy mean my relationship is over?

Far from it. Going to therapy is a sign that you want the best for your marriage or relationship. Dedicating time each week to talk about your challenges can strengthen your connection and make conflict much easier to navigate. Therapy is for every couple, no matter how long they’ve been together or what condition their relationship is in.

What if therapy impacts our relationship with our kids?

You’re doing this for yourself, your relationship, and your whole family system. In that sense, therapy can improve your connection with your kids, too. Together, we can work on new parenting skills and explore ways to keep you and your partner on the same page with regards to rules and boundaries.

What if my partner doesn’t want to come with me?

Obviously, I can’t make decisions for your significant other. But what I can do is talk to them about their concerns. Oftentimes, I find that people are hesitant about couples therapy because they fear their counselor will take sides or make them look like the bad guy. The good news is that my approach is unbiased and nonjudgmental—I believe that both parties have to take responsibility for a relationship to truly heal.

That said, if your partner really doesn’t want to come, you can still do individual counseling to work on your part of the relationship. If therapy benefits you, maybe that will motivate them to try it for themselves!

Let Me Help You Renew Your Emotional Connection

Your relationship deserves care and attention. If you want to set aside time to focus on it each week, I encourage you to connect with me. You can fill out the contact form or call 720-309-5526 for a free 20-minute phone consultation.