Depression in Teens: How to Tell and What to Do

It is common for teens to experience depression throughout their development. There can be many factors that play into this, including their ongoing brain development, social stressors, and academic stressors. One of the best ways to approach teen depression is to provide them a space to talk through their experiences without judgment. By exploring what exacerbates depressive symptoms and making plans to cope with these stressors and triggers, teens can not only overcome their depression but also learn skills to help maintain their wellbeing throughout their lives.

As teens develop, their brains are changing constantly. Like many mental health concerns, it is common to see depression symptoms emerge between the ages of 12 and 25 as these are some of the most intense years of brain development. For some teens, changes in mood may emerge slowly over time leading to a sense that your child just seems different than the happy kid they once were. For others, depression can come on more quickly, usually in response to a major event such as the death of a friend or loved one, experiences of bullying, major family changes such as divorce, or traumatic events.

What Are the Signs of Depression in Teens?

The signs of depression in teens are very similar to those seen in adults, but teens may express their depressed mood in different ways. Two of the most observable signs of depression in teens, adolescents, and young adults include withdrawal and irritability. Withdrawal may include teens staying in their room constantly, avoiding family time, not wanting to spend time with friends, or no longer engaging in the hobbies they once loved. Often, these behaviors are due to the effects of depression that cause teens to feel tired, unmotivated, and experience a loss of interest in activities. Irritability may be expressed in many ways. Often teens will appear annoyed by even simple questions, even becoming angry at times or raising their voice. They may also shut down when spoken to and refuse to engage in conversations or activities. To many, they may generally appear to have a “bad attitude.” In reality, however, these behaviors are due to the severe exhaustion and emotional pain caused by depression.

Consider times in which you feel sad, down, or even depressed yourself – it can be very difficult to carry on with conversations and other interactions throughout your day. Now imagine that you are a teen who is experiencing this for the first time! With the start of depression comes a lot of confusion, loneliness, and hopelessness. It makes sense for teens to struggle with thoughts such as, “will I ever feel happy again?” “why can’t I just snap out of it?” or “I must be the only one who feels this way.”

How Can We Help Struggling Teens?

Talk to them! Talking to your kids about your own experiences of sadness or depression can help them feel less alone and find hope in seeing how you manage and overcome similar experiences. Giving teens a place to talk with a counselor can also help by providing them a space in which they can focus solely on themselves and not worry about how others are perceiving them. There are many research-supported treatments available for teen depression, with one of the most popular approaches being Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). When used to treat depression, CBT can help to uncover patterns in teen depression, including what triggers depressive symptoms and what responses increase or reduce symptoms. The goal of this treatment is to help teens understand the connection between their depressive emotions and thoughts so that they can challenge self-defeating beliefs that cause hopelessness and sadness. By doing so, teens can begin to feel better and start to re-engage with their friends, families, interests, and motivations.

If you are noticing that your teen seems sad, argumentative, stressed, withdrawn, or just not themselves – reach out and get them support. With early intervention, teens can overcome and ward off depression through developing the tools they need to support themselves!

Teen and Adolescent Mental Health Therapy During COVID-19

The current life of teens and adolescents due to COVID-19 looks a lot different than anyone could have imagined. The ages of approximately 12 through 18 years old usually call to mind images of sporting events, dances, and crowded school hallways. But little if any of that is happening right now. The pre-teen and teen years are a critical time in adolescent development. Typically, adolescence involves learning to navigate complex social situations, managing increasing responsibilities, and making strides in identity development. As humans we are wired to grow and learn in social contexts, and each of these tasks of adolescence require interacting with others. So, what happens when the world outside the family is all but removed?

Why is my teen struggling to do schoolwork?

So many teens have lost their natural daily and weekly structure without in-person school. Just like adults, they also get burnt out working on a computer all day in a stagnant environment. Think about your own experiences as an adult – do you have times that you need to refresh and get out of the house in order to feel that you can return to a project? Consider that your kids probably feel similarly, but perhaps to an even greater intensity. Adolescent brains are still contending with learning to self-regulate. This means that teens are essentially hard wired to need more movement and excitement. It also means that they struggle to have patience, sit still, and control impulsive urges. Your teen may suddenly seem to daydream more, seem more distracted from their schoolwork, or become angry, frustrated, or upset. This is not because they suddenly don’t care; it’s because their brain needs more stimulation. No matter how engaging online education is, adolescents will still be missing out on critical experiences of social connection and exposure to new environments that foster growth, learning, and identity development.

Why does my teen suddenly seem to have developed anxiety or depression?

This could be for many reasons. Sometimes anxiety and depression can stem from boredom. Teen brains need a lot of stimulation, and when that doesn’t happen anxiety can occur out of an unfulfilled craving for more interaction and excitement. Similarly, feelings of depression can happen as a coping response that allows teens to feel that they don’t need as much stimulation. Many adolescents are also facing having lost significant social interactions. They may no longer have easy access to supportive friend groups. Their bond with their sports teammates may not translate to a text, phone, or social media relationship. They may have been in the process of joining or forming a new social group that was interrupted and lost in all of the changes. Perhaps they have begun to consider their own identities and were hoping to find supportive peers to connect with while they explore who they are and who they wish to be. Adolescents also thrive in structured environments. Without the natural structure of school, they may feel lost or overwhelmed. Through all of these changes, you as the parent may also feel that you adolescent child has begun directing some of their emotions toward you. Family tensions are common when any member of the family is struggling. Often, when we feel upset, hurt, scared, or stressed, we will take it out on those we are close to. If you are having to set firm boundaries and find yourself saying “no” a lot more to protect your child’s health and safety, this is bound to happen even more often. Often, the burden of providing structure and boundaries is shared with supportive adults outside the home, such as coaches and teachers. If it is suddenly all on you, it makes sense that your kids might also perceive that you are saying no more too.

Why doesn’t my teen want to get out more or see friends when they can?

This can feel complicated. Maybe your adolescent used to beg to see their friends and get out of the house, and now that you are finally feeling able to loosen some of the restrictions they don’t seem interested anymore. How could that happen? Should you be worried about them? There may be many reasons for this. It is possible that they don’t feel as connected to their friends anymore and are worried about how to navigate reconnecting. Perhaps they have begun to adapt to having less social connection in their life as a means of self-protection. Maybe they have still have fear about their health and safety that they haven’t yet expressed. Regardless of the reason, it can be important to consider a slow reintroduction of social activities to allow hesitant teens time to warm up and feel comfortable.

Remember, even though physical school is not happening, kids are still going through the same developmental, neurocognitive, and physical changes of adolescence. It is a time in which most kids naturally struggle with their self-esteem, self-image, and overall confidence. Going through these stages during the chaos of COVID-19 is unprecedented, and in many ways online school can make it feel harder for self-conscious kids to avoid feeling put under a magnifying glass. You may even feel the same way in meetings that you have online. You both deserve a great deal of compassion!

How could therapy help my adolescent right now?

Therapy can be a useful tool no matter what your kids are struggling with. We can work with teens who seem unmotivated to remind them of their goals and help create structure that will allow them to make progress forward. We can also work on supplementing their current reduction in external motivators by figuring out what sources of internal motivation and resources they can tap into. We can also be a place for teens to process their experiences. Sometimes teens just need their own space to share their emotions and thoughts. Teens may struggle to share things with their parents, and even their friends, because they are worried how their struggles will affect others they care about, or how they might be viewed by others. Feeling like they have a therapist in their corner for when they need more support can be a vital step toward them feeling more in control and settled. Therapy is also the perfect place to help you and your kids to feel more connected. When huge changes and stressors enter our lives, communication skills often get lost in the shuffle. By providing a calm space for your family to rediscover how to share and find joy with each other, you can reopen lines of communication and feel more connected.

Often parents reach out to therapists because they just aren’t sure what is going on with their adolescent kids. They may seem different, like they suddenly changed and just don’t act like the happy kid they once were. You might feel confused, hurt, and at a loss of how to get through to your adolescent. Parents often feel like once their kids reach adolescence a wall goes up and they aren’t as close as they used to be. As painful as this can be, it is not out of the ordinary. Therapy can be a great place to gain peace of mind and to get resources for you and your family. Call today to find out exactly how we can help you and your teenage or adolescent child cope with the stress and changes caused by COVID-19.

Working From Home with Kids: How to Navigate the Stress and Struggles

Working from home is an adjustment in and of itself, and when you add in navigating the demands and schedules of kids it adds a whole new level of disruption.

Figuring out routines, childcare, and space/privacy needs can cause a great deal of stress. While there are many ideas found online for how to keep kids occupied during work from home days – here we want to focus on much needed tips for stress reduction during these transitions.

Know What is Within Your Control

One of the main things you can do to help keep calm in the chaos of working from home is to focus on the things you can control. This can mean finding a comfortable space in your home dedicated to work, choosing to use headphones or sound machines for privacy, asking a partner for help with entertaining kids, and when possible deciding what work times are best for you. This also means accepting the things that are out of your control. Kids might walk in during a meeting. Your internet may cut out at times. Tasks that were quick in an office may take a bit longer. While these experiences can range from annoying to aggravating, focus on giving yourself compassion. Many times, we hold higher expectations for ourselves than others hold for us.

Take Time for Yourself

Taking time for yourself as a parent is never easy. There are always demands on your time at home – often from your children and family, and now from your home office. Now that you are working as well as living at home it is important to carve out dedicated time for focusing on your needs. Much of your day consists of taking care of the needs of others and making sure that they are content and happy. Consider the empathy you have for others and their needs and try applying that to yourself as well. Making a conscious effort to take time for yourself can help to recharge you emotionally and physically to be able to tend to other areas of your life more efficiently.

Develop a Routine

Since working from home started, most routines went by the wayside. From your family routine to your pre-and post-work routine, everything has been upended. Since your work and family life have no natural separation these days, finding ways to distinguish them is essential. Rediscover pre- and post- work routines that help you switch your mindset and prevent you from feeling distracted in both home and work life. Discovering ways that allow you to transition your frame of mind from work life to home life can allow you to achieve a more balanced dynamic at home. This can include getting dressed for work as though you are heading to the office, or going for a drive at the end of the work day to ease back into home life.

Create Space Between Work Life and Family Time

Finding separation between work and family life, even when they are happening in the same space, goes hand in hand with developing a routine. Creating a designated space that you conduct your work in, or where you feel most productive can allow you to mentally attune to your work needs while minimizing the distractions that being in a home environment naturally bring. Working in shared or multi-use spaces (such as the kitchen counter or dining table) can impede our ability to get in the work mindset, so when possible aim for an area that is truly dedicated for work.

The steps to creating a more balanced work from home life for you and your family can be difficult. You do not need to maneuver the ever-changing environment alone; child counseling, family therapy, and parenting sessions can assist you and your family in navigating the various adjustments, stressors, and struggles that occur while continuing to build your bond. We are here to help you decide what individual and family counseling options could fit for your family’s needs!